Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton and Heen

Difficult Conversations by Douglass Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen from the Harvard Business School provides valuable information on how to proceed through difficult conversations.  The central key is to really listen with respect to the other person and attempt  to fully understand their point of view prior to shoving your opinion down their throat.  The latter strategy is not very effective in changing someone's mind and often results in increased resistance. The best conversations start with a goal of better understanding rather than forcefully offering an opinion prior to obtaining proper background information. 

Lauren Mackler From the Harvard Business school recommends getting a reality check rather than assuming.  Controlling the emotional tone to reduce defensiveness. Talking from an I perspective rather than a You perspective and avoid 'shoulding' on people.  Use the phrase "have you considered" instead. 

The book, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most  is available from Amazon.com