Give and Take by Adam Grant

Adam Grant categorizes people into three categories, givers, takers and matchers.  In the short term, takers usually are the most successful.  In the long term according to his researcher givers who can move beyond being doormats are the most successful.  In this highly connected world it is also much more difficult to be successful as a taker as a person's past history is much more transparent.

Medical students who are givers are much less successful in the highly competitive first few years of medical school as they help others to succeed.  They are much more successful during the later part of their schooling where cooperation and ability to empathize with patients is very important.

He gives examples of some fakers attempting to appear like givers. Kenneth Lay of Enron is an example.  His outward charitable donations masked his taking behavior in the company.  He treated the corporate jet like personal property.  On the annual corporate report he had a full page photo of himself.  Most executives have no photo or a small wallet sized photo on the report. 

When a giver is attempting to bargain for a raise it helps to adopt an otherish attitude.  Consider that you are not just bargaining for yourself but on behalf of your family.  If a giver is interacting with a taker it is useful to switch to a matching attitude to avoid being taken to the cleaners. 

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