Bill O'Hanlon offers solution oriented approaches to dealing with life's problems. He is a prolific author and provides help on writing nonfiction books in the videos below. The author focus not so much on the why something occurred but on what can be done to change the situation and how a different approach may make things better. Focusing on why something happens often involves paralysis by analysis. Recognize what happened in the past but focus attention and action on the present and the future.
The author provides a toolkit for breaking cycles of failed behavior. This often involves doing things that change perspective or the environment. For example he advised one couple with arguments that went out of control to have their next argument in the bathroom with the man sitting in the bathtub. The absurd location allowed the couple to break the pattern of prolonged arguments.
He specifically suggests altering the focus from the problem to actions that result in a solution. When requesting a change from a partner don't waste time with character descriptions. For example: you are a slob. Instead state: Pick your clothes and pizza boxes off the floor in the living room.
He also focuses on the importance of ritual in two circumstances. The first involves a symbolic break from a painful chapter in a person's life. One woman painted a picture of the pain an abusive man caused her family. She then burned the painting in a ritual ceremony. Other rituals involve a family meal or doing other things together such as attending church, celebrating birthdays or family events. My daily lunch date with my wife is something I look forward to each week.
Breaking the patterns of a bad relationship has helped many of his patients save their marriages and allowed them to live better lives and shift their focus from: "why does this keep happening to me?" to "how can I change this to make it better?"
Bill O'Hanlon (author 29+ books) Write the proposal before writing the whole non fiction book.
Science of Happiness - 7 minutes
How to prepare a book proposal - 6 min.
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