In This is How author Augusten Burroughs describes in brutally frank sometimes profane terms how to deal with the worst life has to throw at us. This book is not a fuzzy warm blanket but a reasonably good guide to surviving hell on earth. He describes how he supports a friend with a terminal illness. He regrets planning the funeral when he should have spent time with his friend.
Examine why something is only a want. What is preventing it from being a need? What is the benefit to the status quo? If something isn't changing in our lives and we want it to change but it is just not happening then its because we don't need it to change. The author describes need with this analogy. Your car has sunk into the bottom of the lake. You need to open the door or the windows or you will die. You do everything you can to get it done. Motivation is not a problem.
Life isn't fair. When something bad happens an apology is nice but it can not change the past. Move forward and deal with what is happening now. Do not wallow in self pity hoping some adult will come along and make it all better. People attend self pity parties alone because no one else wants to be there.
My Precious - Gollum
Living in the past is a trap. Reliving it and creating a myth about it is attempting to mold invisible clay into something no one can see. However, if we use the past as a source of inspiration for creation it allows for artistic expression to improve or inform the present and future. In my interpretation of his writing, we can choose to treat memories from the past like Gollum's Precious Ring. We bring it out on special occasions and carry it us with us everywhere showing it to only a special few. It weighs us down as we obsess about it and prevents us from living it the moment.
He ends the book with the story of a 15 year old girl who changed the world by seeing the truth and bravely naming it. The author encourages us to do the same.
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