Talking as Fast as I Can by Lauren Graham

Lauren Graham zooms through her life from her childhood through Gilmore Girls part 1 to Gilmore Girls part 2 in her autobiography, Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (and Everything in Between) She is delightfully frank and open about the long journey to finding the role of a lifetime and the joy of reprising it. She worked a large number of jobs before she finally made it.

Her advice to authors about getting a book done is very helpful.  She recommended a variation on the pomodoro technique (Wikipedia). Set a timer anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour and work on writing during that time. Write in your journal or on the project you are working on.  Turn off the Internet and the cell phone.  She also recommends silencing the inner critique while getting the first draft out.  The critique and rewrites come later.  She also puts a note about a fact that is missing and keeps up with the flow.  She will go back later to find the fact.

Our family loved watching the Gilmore Girls.  The acting was great, the the writing was witty and the characters were fun to watch. Lauren narrates the audiobook with great timing and delivery. She even has a couple guest read their roles. The audiobook comes with pdfs for the photos referenced in the book.

Talking as Fast as I Can - 5 min book excerpt

Brief chat with Ellen about the book - 2 min. 

Understanding the Mysteries of Human Behavior by Professor Mark Leary

Professor Mark Leary gives a tour of the human psyche in Understanding the Mysteries of Human Behavior available through the Great Courses. He takes and evolutionary perspective on human behavior. Each lecture attempts to answer a specific question such as "Why is self control so hard?" The Answer: There is a conflict between a future reward and a present benefit. It is harder at the end of the day then at the beginning.

Humans by nature are a very violent species. This tendency towards violence is maladaptive in most modern cultures but helped assure survival in earlier periods of history. It is one of the reasons we tend to make mountains out of mole hills. Over reacting to minor threats had an evolutionary advantage.

Activities linked to boosting people's self-esteem do not work. Activities such as accomplishments, doing well in school and work will boost self- esteem as a side effect. Low self esteem is not the cause of anything. It is the result of not being successful.

Roughly 50% of happiness is linked to genetic predisposition. People who engage in and seek intrinsic behaviors are generally happier that individuals that primarily pursue extrinsic reward (e.g. monetary).  Examples of intrinsic behavior include spending time with children, friends or hobbies without seeking monetary reward.

I found the course to be helpful in understanding the origins of some of my own behavior and helped me understand the actions of others.

Great Courses -  2 min. 

Why do hurt feelings hurt/ - 5 min. 

Self compassion more important than self - esteem - 3 min. 

Better than Before by Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin covers the subject of habits in great detail with Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life.

Gretchen breaks people into  the Four Rubin Tendencies.  Knowing a person's tendency can help design a strategy to develop and maintain a positive habit.

1. The Rebel - They do not like to follow rules, they make their own. Tell them what do do and they will do the opposite. 
2. The Obliger- They need an outside authority or a buddy to help develop and maintain a habit
3. The Questioner - Needs an answer to questions such as "Why do we need to do this?"
4. The Up Holdler - responds to inner and outer expectations and can self regulate.

Making change can happen quickly with a lightning bolt in the form of an new experience or exposure to a new idea.  The author and her father switched to a low carb diet and improved the health of both of  them.  Some people achieve success by abstaining from an activity like eating sweets others work better when they modify their behavior. Moving to a new location or starting a new job is a great time to set up new habits.

Gretchen combines peer reviewed research with her own hands on experimentation at new habit forming using herself and friends as test subjects. Developing and maintaining good habits can free up valuable willpower to use when it is needed the most.

 

Gretchen Rubin - The four ways to successfully adopt habits  - 18 minutes

Strategy of the four tendencies - 6 minutes

Scientific Secrets for Self-Control by Professor C. Nathan DeWall

Professor C. Nathan Dewall gives a brief overview of research on Scientific Secrets for Self-Control. Many of his findings are what we would expect but have interesting implications. For example: A research paper calculated the total annual cost to New York City for keeping bars open after 1 am at roughly 250 million dollars.  Tired individuals who have their judgment impaired by alcohol consumption cause damage and death.

On a more practical note, he recommends that we engage in activities that allow us to have good executive control over our actions such as getting a good nights sleep, and avoiding making important decisions when it is late at night or when we are tired.  Sleep deprivation also reduces our will power to resist snacking on high calorie unhealthy foods.

You can increase your self-control "muscles" by doing short duration simple activities that require small amounts of self-control like using your non-dominant hand to shoot a basketball or write. You can also plan ahead to times when your self-control will be depleted and have a pre-made healthy meal along with a written reminder note describing the values that help form the decision.

Cartoon summary of Professor Dewall's book - 7 min. 

Students learn to use self control - 7 min.

Get to know Nathan DeWall - 5 min. 

The Wisdom Jesus by Cynthia Bourgeault

Cynthia Borgeault's book, The Wisdom Jesus: Transforming Heart and Mind--A New Perspective on Christ and His Message, should be subtitled - Jesus Zen Master. Viewed from the perspective of an Episcopalian Minister, Jesus offers wisdom not in pithy proverbs but in mind twisting parables that produce an evolution of thought and a better understanding of the Kingdom of Heaven. 

When we try to fully understand Jesus we need to reflect on his teachings from both an Western and Eastern perspective. The author encourages being open to some of the gnostic gospels making specific mention of the Gospel of Thomas.   

Specific practices such as centering prayer, promoted by Father Thomas Keating, provide a practice that allows a fuller understanding of the faith.  A faith that is experienced and not one that lists a series of specific beliefs, rules and doctrine. She describes methods that allow us to quiet the mind and be open to graciously receiving wisdom. 

She also provides some ideas as to how Jesus developed his teaching by combining his Jewish faith with the cultural exchange of ideas in the trading hub of Galilee. 

She discusses Mary Magdalene as a close friend of Jesus who comes closer than many apostles to understanding the depth of his teaching.  He teaches not simply a belief but is is a way of deeper understanding. He promotes a different value system where fairness is supplanted by abundance.  

In my own words, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a baseball team who adds a player late in the season (see MN Twins and Don Baylor) and goes on to win the World Series.  The players who were on the team the whole year get a championship ring along with the player who was only on the team a month. They share the abundance and don't quibble about who did more to secure the championship.   

The book definitely deepened my understanding of the wisdom of Jesus and offered practices to be open to receiving this gift. The practices will also be beneficial to individuals outside the Christian Faith.  The author developed a better understanding of some techniques by studying the faith practices in Sufi Islam.  

Cynthia Bourgeault - Raising consciousness - 10 min. 

Metanoia - reinterpreting the meaning of Repent - 4 min.