Just Listen by Mark Goulston

Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone by Mark Goulston provides information on methods to work through difficult conversational land mines. A failure to adequately mirror a person creates a mirror neuron deficit. As an example: A person works very hard on a project and the person receiving the results says, "Thanks."  A more appropriate specific note of appreciation will recognize the specific work the person has done.

Dealing with a difficult situation steps (paraphrasing):  By naming the emotional state the pre-frontal cortex is engaged and can help the brain work through the problem and extract the problem out of the reptilian brain. The key is pausing to analyze before reacting. This reduces regret caused by unthoughtful responses.  I've been using this on a couple of really difficult situations lately and it has helped me come up with a better solution.

1. Oh Crap!
2. Oh Gosh
3. Oh Geez!
4. Okay.

Mark Goulston talks about Just Listen - 62 min.