Many Ways to Say I Love You: Wisdom For Parents and Children from Mister Rogers by Fred Rogers

The book, Many Ways to Say I Love You: Wisdom for Parents and Children from Mister Rogers is the third in a series of books published after Mr. Rogers death in 2003. The notes for this book were compiled by staffers at Family Communications Inc. from speeches and articles written by Fred Rogers.  As with the previous books Fred's wife, Joanne Rogers writes the forward.

The book is divided into four sections:

• What We Bring from Our Past
• Growing as Parents
• Many Ways of Loving Each Other
• Growing as Children

At the core of the book is a realization that parents and children recognize that neither one is perfect. The quest for perfection leads to frustration. Sometimes we get angry with each other using words. Its important for children to observe how adults handle these situations by not resorting to physical violence and working to repair the relationship after disagreements.

He encourages us to let the transition from each phase of childhood through adolescence happen naturally. Children need rituals and some quiet time to process these changes. In some cases people can get stuck in a developmental stage and never fully grow up. There needs to be space to take the risk to be part of the new experience. It reminded me of Hope Jahren's explanation of the internal processes of a seed taking the risk to germinate, breaking the seed coat, and attempting the dangerous task of growing into a mature plant.

Its important for children to feel safe sharing their feelings. Sometimes these feeling may be mixed and this can be confusing. Being comfortable with ambivalent feelings is helpful.

Children need someone who will be there when life is difficult and during times when they try to develop. "We need to help children understand that for us, as for them, life is made up of striving much more than attaining." Children can also be very good at giving comfort when adults are honest about their own difficulties. Being needed and being helpful to others is important to children.

The book offers solid advice to parents trying to do their best to raise their children. Its given me some useful insights on ways to be a better parent.

There are Many Ways to Say I Love You - 2 min. 

Fred Rogers 1997 -  approx. 2 min. 

It's You I like - Fred Rogers - 3 min.