Why Him Why Her by Helen Fisher

Helen Fisher's book Why Him? Why Her?: How to Find and Keep Lasting Love describes the results of the Research that Helen Fisher used to develop an upgrade to the current selection criteria used at Match.com. She found that people fell into four basic personality types with a primary and secondary type.

Four basic personality types:

• The Explorer - Seeks adventure and new experiences
• The Negotiator - This philosopher king is interested in feelings
• The Director - This type is very decisive and loaded with testosterone
• The Builder - This person has traditional values and is interested in building community

These personality types have their roots in the varying levels of testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin in a person.  When these personality types are paired in a relationship they vary in compatibility.  Two builders usually get along well with stable marriages.  Two directors may have a power struggle.  Some pairs complement each other like the Director/Negotiator.

When I listened to the audio book, I found that parts of me were in each personality type. When I took Helen Fisher's Personality Test, my top two scores were only a point a part.  The information was useful for both understanding romantic relationships and the day to day relationships between co-workers and supervisors.

Helen Fisher Audio book selection - 7 minutes

Helen Fisher discusses her book - 5 min.